in the meantime, singers like fairooz and abdel haleem and others have been doing the same sex love lyrics thing forver. i was always astounded as a kid how homosexuality was unspeakable but totally singable, it seemed. another one of those weird dichotomies to get used to. of course those famous arabic singers were not flaming queers (come on, abdel haleem with all the babes in the movies and music videos -- think ricky martin and the girls in that la vida loca music video...) it was just a convention of the language, my father said when i asked him as a child, much to his discomfort.... i can still see him squirming in his favourite chair.

it's a convention i've so far explored to many pleasurable depths. i take comfort in the songs, too. ziad rahbani wrote "al-bosta" a song which fairooz covered, although as far as i know it wasn't written with her in mind.... i guess when he got older he didnt mind juxtaposing very lebanese straight male working class lyrics on his untouchable dignified icon high diva of a mother.... i find it funny. the song is "al-bosta" or otherwise known as "3a hadeer al-bosta" which could vaguely translate itself to be "to the hum of the bus." the rider is romancing, thinking of his/her loved one "alia" and her eyes while simultaneously observing everyone on the bus on its way from the village of himlaya to the village of tannourinen (isnt that where they get that bottled water?)

i found this translation of the song at fairouz.com, which i couldnt improve on if i tried:

"El bosta" - "The bus" - Ziad Rahbani

I am promised by you eyes,
and I have crossed for them villages and highlands,
you are you, your eyes are black,
and you don't know what black eyes do to me,
on the buzzing of the engine of the bus taking us
from the village of Himlaya to the village of Tannourine,
I remembered you Alia, and I remembered your eyes,
and damn your eyes Alia
how beautiful they are,
we were going up in that heat and we were feeling hot,
there was one eating lettuce, and one eating figs,
and there was one with his wife - how ugly his wife is,
I envy them, how peaceful their mind is,
the passengers of Tannourine,
for they do not know how beautiful you eyes are,
oh Alia, we were going up, but didn't pay the fare,
one time we would hold the door,
another we would hold the passengers,
and the one with his wife - his wife suffocated and got dizzy,
I would swear by my life, he would let her go alone to Tannourine
if they would see how beautiful your eyes are,
oh Alia, Oh sir if you please close that window,
too much wind sir, the air might get us a cold.

so do we assume that fairooz is a dyke because she's singing her straight sons words? no, but it suits our evil lesbo purposes. am i the only one enjoying this "reclaiming" process? she has many many others -- same phenomenom. she also sings love songs to men. are we to understand that she is bisexual? or that the guy who wrote is? where do we draw the line? (you know if i had it my way, you know where we would draw it...right there..no, awta shway)

so what does all this have to do with producing this issue of bintelnas "bashtaheeky?" nothing works like secret (or not so secret?) affirmations in the same culture which has silenced you in so many ways...especially such mainstream stuff as fairooz.

nothing works for a movement like a song. just look at religion. do we need more recruits?

perhaps the deeper question im asking is nature or nurture?

did a childhood of these same sex lyrics and nifty melodies from good looking musical icons send subliminal messages to our brains and make us the way we are today?

is it fairouz's fault that i love girls?