They asked me to write about my hair. The black hair I hide under my baseball hat. I said, "No!" I chose to write about Matt's hair instead. His blonde hair is longer and softer than mine.

A woman and her reflection in a water pool...
A woman and her mirror...
A woman and her hair...
It is a long story...
A story of beauty...
Story of narcissism...
Of shallowness...
And sometimes a story of control...

Many women used their charm to control men...
To overcome men's physical superiority...
Some women used their hair to seduce tyrants...
Others surrendered to men on their knees...
They used their hair to wipe men's feet...
Like Mary Magdalene who approached Jesus...
With her tears flowing on his feet...
She cleaned them with her hair...

Why can't I surrender to men...
Like all my ancestors did?
Why do men charm me...
As long as they do not dominate me?
Why don't I let him take me in his arms...
Like the 1950s movie stars?
Why won't I allow a man to lay on the top of me?

If I give a man control once...
Will I lose my control over my body forever?
Am I a lesbian?
But I do not really desire women's bodies...
Do I want to become a man?
I do not want to have an operation for sure...
Easier than an a sex change...
I bought a big dildo...
That can be fastened with a strap to the waist...

I heard about straight men that get fucked by women...
It turns me on to dominate a man...
Will I be putting myself at risk of being raped?
It is not a big challenge to fuck a man...
Who is already attracted to women...
I got an idea...
A real challenge...
A freaky one...

I met Matt at the Alliance of Queers and Straights at Washington State University. It is basically a gay and lesbian group but it is not unusual to see some fag hags hanging out with the queer boys. Matt liked to hang out with me. Maybe because I am too exotic for this blonde kid. Or maybe he hopes to get into the pants of Arabic guys on campus through me. Anyway, I enjoyed his company. After all, his gay clothes and leather collar match with my nose, tongue and body piercing.

Matt is just 18. He is always horny. He does not find enough top men in town to satisfy him. On a Friday night, he was hanging out with me at an underground party. We had several drinks and we smoked too. He came back with me to my dormitory room. I wanted to take off my baseball hat but a freaky idea struck me. My hair does not turn Matt on. I shall keep my boyish looks as my style for the rest of the night.

I sat next to Matt on my bed. He was lying down buzzed and his legs were wide open. I asked him: "Are you horny tonight?"

Matt: Always.
Leyna: Can I help you?
Matt: Do you want to find a hung guy for me online?
Leyna: Why bother? I have an easier solution...

I grabbed the dildo from under my bed and showed it to him.

Matt: Wow! This is cool. Bigger than the guys in this town.
Leyna: Do you want it?
Matt: But I don 't want to fuck myself.
Leyna: I will do it.
Matt: Are you serious?

I put a serious look on my face that is recognizable by him.

Matt: You are!
Leyna: Turn around...

I took off my leather belt and said: "Strip down for me... now!!!" Matt put a big smile on his face and immediately got into the role-play. He quickly took off his clothes as if he were getting undressed for a man who perfectly fits the description of his dream-man: a ten-inch, smooth and muscular guy. He left his boxer on. He had a skinny white body. I lashed him twice with my belt and pointed to his boxer. He then uncovered a flaccid penis.

I lubricated the dildo, fastened it to my waist and said: "Turn around! On your knees!"

I was slapping his butt with my right hand while my left hand was feeling his back up to his hair. Matt had a shoulder-length blonde hair. I was feeling its softness between my fingers. So smooth, much more than mine. I turned my baseball hat and slapped him again.

Matt said he enjoyed the experience... I think he did.
He has never been with a woman before.

He did not get an orgasm. I got one. Or at least I thought I had. It could be just a mental orgasm. I am in control of my sexuality now. I control men too...

Do I want to do Matt again or someone else? Will it be a man or a woman? I don't know right now. Undoubtedly, I enjoyed playing with his hair -- while fucking him -- much more than brushing my hair, something I always hated to do.

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